All in all.

But a man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property, and with his wife's knowledge he kept back for himself some of the proceeds and brought only a part of it and laid it at the apostles' feet. But Peter said, “Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back for yourself part of the proceeds of the land? While it remained unsold, did it not remain your own? And after it was sold, was it not at your disposal? Why is it that you have contrived this deed in your heart? You have not lied to man but to God.” When Ananias heard these words, he fell down and breathed his last. And great fear came upon all who heard of it. The young men rose and wrapped him up and carried him out and buried him.     - Acts 5:1-6

How often do we hold onto to physical things with unyielding ownership. MINE. 

How did Ananias sin? 

Yes, he lied. He attempted to deceive men into thinking he had a higher degree of faith than that which he truly possessed. He lied to the Holy Spirit. He spoke a lie, and he passed it off as truth. And may God protect us from blindly falling into this same way of thinking… May He protect us from that, because we are prone to that. We lie about having faith that we do not have. We pretend we don’t struggle with sin. We claim a personal victory over something we should be Christ-dependent for. We highlight our bibles with different colors. We take selfies of our devotions. We announce our fasts. We publicly pray AT people instead of privately, sincerely pray TO GOD for them. God forgive our lies.

But could there be something DEEPER? 

God is generous to us. He rains on the just and on the unjust. But the fact that we own ANYTHING is preposterous. Man truly created nothing. We “create” things with borrowed materials. Atoms, molecules, and elements carefully crafted by a Genius Architect. Living beings we see as materials graciously given to us for our good by a loving Father. 

Well, back to Ananias… The property was always his (as “his” as it could be, for all intents and purposes). And he could have acknowledged God (and acknowledged God’s generous gifts to him), and very well could have kept it as such. Our God gives us good and perfect gifts. But Ananias didn’t see it that way. He saw the property as his own. No doubt, he thought whatever claim he had to it was valid and binding, whether it be inheritance or even good old fashioned hard work… in his eyes it was his… Not God’s. The deceit was merely a fruit of the greater underlying condition… A disregard for God and the character of God as the Sovereign Creator. 

But we keep things. We live in America. We have houses. We have cars. We have iPhones. We have big screen TVs. We get fat paychecks (because even part-time, minimum wage paychecks are fat in comparison to some third world countries mostly salaries.) Whether we are to sell them and live life in the style of 1st century Christianity, or to enjoy the gifts and callings of God, the answer to this conundrum would be a result of personal conviction from a personal relationship with the God who invites to count it all as lost and to enjoy His gifts. The thing Ananias lacked… A relationship with God. The God that would have been acknowledged in His giving of gifts (or rather loans) or in the surrendering back to Him what He already possesses.

So whether you have sold everything you owned to be a missionary in a third world country and live off the grace of God, or if God has blessed you with the prosperous American dream and has allowed you to enjoy the fruit of the hard work He fueled you to perform… 

May Christ be all in all. 

May His knowledge of our good be the reason for our poverty and may He be praised in it. And may He credited as the giver of good gifts in our times of harvest. 

May Christ be all in all.

To live...

The dust around me has yet to settle, but I walk through it as nothing has happened. My logical, sober eyes are shut tight; the eyes of delusion are wide open. I barely see the rubble, the smoke, and the blood through the lens of calloused complacency. Yet I pick up my own burden, and walk on.

And though onward I walk, it takes the willful disregard of everything true in me to pretend that I am not walking in a circle. Years and years in an endless barren wilderness I have fashioned as my prison; yet You designed as my tutor. The golden calf lies in ashes behind me, the taunting lure of giving up to my left, the Promise so far, far away away.

Yet …

Yet, You would have me believe that it is here. The promise is here. The kingdom of God, is here. You would have me believe that the vision of You is more captivating and desirable than the plastic world set all around me. The barren wilderness, consumed by locusts, is the playground of Your creative restorative Hand… Your empty canvas. You tell me not to fear the giants, and the terrors that come by night. You would have me believe that the rubble should not be ignored, but presented to You as bones that will one day will live.

And being here, looking in Your eyes, feeling Your heartbeat as Your arms hold me above the water I tried to walk on…

Lord, I believe You.

My Advice to Carlos 3 years ago, the new believer.

Relax.

The sooner you realize that He has always been in control, is in control, and will be in control, the better. Never once was your life outside of His sight, this God who sees. The abuse you went through, the loves you lost, the pain, the solitude, the hatred of the fact that you are even breathing... has worked out for your good. The very possessions and ambitions that slipped through your hands like wet sand at the beach are the very things you will joyfully give up for His name’s sake. Your academic achievements and your professional accomplishments will be counted as lost. The things you stressed out were never worth it. They along with Heaven and Earth, will pass away, but His words will never pass away. He is so much bigger than you think He is. The heavens cannot contain Him. You cannot fathom Him. And Carlos.... HE LOVES YOU. Let that penetrate your thoughts. Let everything that is true, honorable, just, pure, excellent, and praiseworthy envelop and purge your thoughts. While you should know that you don’t love Him enough, know that the only thing that matters in that equation is that He loves you. While you lack faith, what better more gracious way to display faithfulness than to lavish it to the those that are lacking? He does that, Carlos. 

Get over yourself.

You know how sad and emotional you get when you see movies about Jesus dying on the cross? You know how you grimace at the thought of the excruciating pain He went through? The unbearable physical afflictions? That’s because He had to do it for you. Your sin is every before you and you see the results... a stricken innocent One. A sinless, pure lamb facing the results of your mistakes. But Carlos, one day soon, you will realize a joy that will eclipse all of that. He is risen, and risen indeed! The victory of justice and love is just as real as the results of sin. He didn’t stay dead. He lives. And He lives to make intercession for you. There is hope for this world. There is hope for you. Get over yourself. Get your eyes off the past, and press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Without Him, you are nothing. With Him, you can do all things. Do you see the pattern? Him. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. You are so less than you think you are, and at the same time so much more. Decrease that He may increase. Know that your “glory” (for lack of a better word) is in humility. And that is because the most sincere, powerful and influential worship comes from a life that has been rescued. The effective witness comes from one who’s beauty used to be ashes. It comes from a man who knows he is nothing, and yet has been called a son of God. Right now you look at Peter, and you think his most glorious moment was in walking on water. After all, how many people can put that on their "spiritual résumé?" Not many can say: I walked on water. But learn and see his brightest shining moment, not in his walking on water, but in his rescue as he sunk. His glory was not in his feet that failed him, but in the arms that held him. Oh, what a wonderful place to be! Secure and safe in the arms of the One who created the cosmos, the galaxies, the Earth in its vast wonders. And His glory is not just in the marvelous power demonstrated in Creation but also in the grace and love demonstrated in our redemption. Believe it or not, you don’t need to believe in yourself. Believe it or not, you don’t have to love yourself. Believe in Him. Love Him, love others.

Abide in Him.

Desperately, entirely, unreservedly. Do not be afraid to go all in. Do not fear that you are making a sour investment. Give your heart totally. It’s good that you don’t know this at this point of your life... But God’s gonna rock your world. He’s gonna have you learn things you never even knew that you didn’t know! He’s gonna have you play for Moriah Peters as she opens for Kutless, Toby Mac, Jars of Clay and others. He’s gonna have you set up your piano at the Verizon Amphitheater, at the LA Galaxy game, in front of thousands. He’s gonna have you go to the jungles of Peru, the Andes Mountains and even the land of your earthly father. And you won’t regret a moment of it. You’re gonna struggle, Carlos, you are. You will experience episodes of depression so deep that you will wonder if life is truly worth living. You will feel like you lost your mind. You will feel His love and grace are so far from you and you will cry out to Him with such ardor. I don’t even know how this makes sense... But it’s gonna be worth it, Carlos. At times you will cower against the storms of your own mind. At times you will question, at times you will wonder and grumble... But through it all, you will whisper... “Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” You may not always have an answer to the lies of the enemy, but still you will ask, “Where else can I go? He alone has words of eternal life.”

Journey on Carlos. Be bold. Fear not. 

Best Regards,

Yourself.

P.S. You should know that Guinea Pig tastes pretty good. 

The Name of Jesus

She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” Matthew 1:21 ESV

The name Jesus literally means YHWH (or Jehovah) saves. Not YHWH made it possible for you to save yourself... But YHWH Himself, God Almighty saves. He is the LORD (YHWH), and He will not share His glory. Meditate on the implications of this; the fact that God Almighty saves, that He is able, and that He is willing. What does that mean for us? Let the realization of His majesty, His power, and His love lead you to worship Him today.

Matthew later goes on to resound the word of Isaiah the prophet, which the angel echoes to Joseph. 

“Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
    and they shall call his name Immanuel”

Immanuel meaning God with us. God entering into man's perception of time and existence as a tiny baby. Glory clothed in flesh... 

For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily (Colossians 2:9)

For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. (Romans 11:29 ESV)

This depression has been bringing me to my knees almost daily. But I don't think that the enemy counted on the fact that while on my knees.... I WOULD PRAY.

A Prayer: Your Narrow Path

My Lord,

I find myself here, on this road that seems abandoned and forsaken. You have led me down to Your narrow path of righteousness, away from the paths that were comfortable and known for me, and the paths were I enjoyed company. And now I am learning to be alone without being alone. I am learning to be strong when I am weak, and to experience joy at my pain. I am learning to run with You, my God. 

And Father, as I started to run, I made an effort to be aware of my surroundings. The unleveled terrain, the loose gravel, the tripping stones, potential dangers, and I planned accordingly. 

I tripped, Lord. I fell, Father. I am bleeding, my God.

How much easier was it to run on the path that I was used to! The one that hundreds of runners ran before me! My strength has failed me; my own knowledge has been proven to be foolish. 

But in spite of it all, this is where I must be. You have called me here; You have led me here.





And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.”

So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. 




God, I want to follow you. I want to walk in your narrow path. I want to run this good race. I wan to have bigger faith. I want to hear You more clearly. I want to be used by You. Send me out; I will go. Make me more like Jesus. Conform my will to yours. Make me stronger, wiser, better. 


All right here I go... I can do this. Just point me in the right direction. I have everything I need, God. I got this.




But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink...

Plan B. Then Plan C, D, E, F, G... Where am I? What am I doing? Where am I even going? Why am I here? I can't do this... Help me God. 

he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!”

My Lord, when were You removed from the notion of "walking with You?" When was Your strength deemed unnecessary? When were You not enough? When did I forget Psalms 73:25? When did prayer become the last resort, instead of the most potent weapon? When did my non-existant righteousness become my shield in place of my salvation which comes You and only You?

And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased.

Keep me on Your narrow path, my God; this path that is so little travelled. Be my strength, God. Make me weak, so that You would show Yourself strong. Break me, so that Your light can shine through this jar of clay. Remind me that I am dust, and remind the price You paid... a price beyond what I could ever afford. I am not forsaken, not forgotten. Though this road may be painful, it is the safest road I can be on. You are before me, behind me, all around me. You break my bones so that I could never leave Your side. You heal my brokenness so that I could see You as my provider. You show me weakness so that I can utterly depend on Your strength. I need you... like oxygen... and that's where You want me... And can there be a better place? Never. Who else can I be vulnerable with but the one that loves me to death.... Literally...

In my distress I called upon the Lord,

And cried out to my God;

He heard my voice from His temple,

And my cry came before Him, even to His ears.

The Inclined Ear: Thoughts on Prayer

I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy.
Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!

-Psalms 116:1-2 NLT

I remember the day my nephew Max was born. What a momentous occasion! My very first nephew after 4 beautiful, precious, little nieces. I flew to the hospital after work, ran into the my sister’s hospital room to catch a glimpse of the young man that just inherited a special piece of my heart. That day my heart was divided in 5... And my zeal was not unmatched by my 2 other sisters, my parents, my brother-in-law and other close friends. That room was brimming with excitement; the little space we occupied was spinning with joy due to this exciting addition to our family. And amidst the heartwarming noise and loving chaos, I heard a faint little voice calling my name... 

“Tio Carlos...”

The little voice seemed to drown in the sea of laughter, cooing, and cheerful tears.

“Tio Carlos...”

This time the tiny voice brought with it a stern pull on my shirt. It was my oldest niece, Grace, whose little 5-year old voice didn’t stand a chance against a boisterous Hispanic family and a relentless new born baby boy’s cries. There’s no way I could hear what she so persistently wanted to tell me unless I got down to this insistent young lady’s level, eye-to-eye, face-to-face.

I got down on one knee, gave her a hug, and said, “Yes, my baby, what do you need?”

“Tio Carlos... I’m hungry...”

I grabbed her by the hand, and that night, I shared dinner with my determined 5-year old niece, courtesy of the hospital’s late night vending machines.

So, here comes the obvious application... Would you believe that God, who loves you more than anyone else has ever loved you, gets down to meet you eye to eye, face to face, and inclines his ear to what you have to tell Him? The God who gave the Sun it’s terrifying power, and perfectly positioned this gigantic ball of energy in the most perfect location in the Milky Way, so that we may have a breathtaking view of the heavens, also inclines His ear at your cry. He bends down to listen, through all the chaos on Earth and all the glory on Heaven, He clears the way to you, through the clouds, His light cuts through to hear what you have to ask of Him. He moves at the sound of your voice.

“...men’s prayers today are one of the innumerable coordinates with which [God] harmonises the weather of tomorrow...” –CS Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

I think of Abraham’s servant who, upon being tasked with finding a wife for Isaac, prayed a very specific prayer for a very specific person (Gen 24).

Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, ‘Please let down your pitcher that I may drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink’—let her be the one You have appointed for Your servant Isaac. And by this I will know that You have shown kindness to my master.” Gen 24:14

And before the servant even finished his prayer, Rebekah appeared. Some might classify the entire situation as a coincidence, a random pattern of events that would have happened even if Eliezer, Abraham’s servant hand’t prayed. But could I persuade you to believe that God already knew Eliezer would pray for this unique individual, and could I be bold enough to declare to you that God Himself inspired the prayer in Eleizer’s heart? Should that persuade complacency in us to pray? NO WAY! On the contrary, it fuels our passion for it, that God foresees our future requests in His unabounded Now.  How amazing that God should pay such attention to us, that time would have no boundaries. Just as our Lord stood still at the fervent cry of a blind man, our voices move His compassion in such a way today.

My Support Team and I had an amazing prayer night last night. We lifted up the people of Peru, my family, and many other things... And with all certainty I can assure you that God inclined His ear to hear us, as He does with you.