Today, I heard Him say,

"Make no mistake; I will pour My grace over your failures like the majestic waterfall before you. 

But crowns I give to the victorious."

"Heel-Catcher"

The first  stage is denial, right? Well denial looks, sounds, and feels different to everyone…  ...to someone who is an expert at denying things, the denial doesn't even seem present. One of these days I’ll learn to slow down at the slopes and dips and not take them full speed ahead. 

New seasons. Well, if it’s true, it’s starting out kinda rough. And I’m sure there’s a promise in that… The sky is darkest right before dawn. This will not compare to the joy before me. I get it.

And it’s probably true. 

But I feel like crap right now.

But… 

But Sovereignty. 

But God.

All of this is but how the chess pieces move. The means to accomplish a good end. The only way I’d learn. Yeah, there’s sarcasm there, and that’s because I’m a cynical piece of work. But that doesn’t mean I don’t believe it. And I know I believe it… My heart beats at the thought of the plan of the Most High King coming to fruition. I’m thrilled to be a part of it. 

Its the whittling, shaving, breaking, re-shaping part I want nothing to do with… But He will win. I will surrender, and though part of me will fight until the bitter end (and lose), the other part of me can’t wait. 

I can’t wait until God changes my name.