Relax.
The sooner you realize that He has always been in control, is in control, and will be in control, the better. Never once was your life outside of His sight, this God who sees. The abuse you went through, the loves you lost, the pain, the solitude, the hatred of the fact that you are even breathing... has worked out for your good. The very possessions and ambitions that slipped through your hands like wet sand at the beach are the very things you will joyfully give up for His name’s sake. Your academic achievements and your professional accomplishments will be counted as lost. The things you stressed out were never worth it. They along with Heaven and Earth, will pass away, but His words will never pass away. He is so much bigger than you think He is. The heavens cannot contain Him. You cannot fathom Him. And Carlos.... HE LOVES YOU. Let that penetrate your thoughts. Let everything that is true, honorable, just, pure, excellent, and praiseworthy envelop and purge your thoughts. While you should know that you don’t love Him enough, know that the only thing that matters in that equation is that He loves you. While you lack faith, what better more gracious way to display faithfulness than to lavish it to the those that are lacking? He does that, Carlos.
Get over yourself.
You know how sad and emotional you get when you see movies about Jesus dying on the cross? You know how you grimace at the thought of the excruciating pain He went through? The unbearable physical afflictions? That’s because He had to do it for you. Your sin is every before you and you see the results... a stricken innocent One. A sinless, pure lamb facing the results of your mistakes. But Carlos, one day soon, you will realize a joy that will eclipse all of that. He is risen, and risen indeed! The victory of justice and love is just as real as the results of sin. He didn’t stay dead. He lives. And He lives to make intercession for you. There is hope for this world. There is hope for you. Get over yourself. Get your eyes off the past, and press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Without Him, you are nothing. With Him, you can do all things. Do you see the pattern? Him. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. You are so less than you think you are, and at the same time so much more. Decrease that He may increase. Know that your “glory” (for lack of a better word) is in humility. And that is because the most sincere, powerful and influential worship comes from a life that has been rescued. The effective witness comes from one who’s beauty used to be ashes. It comes from a man who knows he is nothing, and yet has been called a son of God. Right now you look at Peter, and you think his most glorious moment was in walking on water. After all, how many people can put that on their "spiritual résumé?" Not many can say: I walked on water. But learn and see his brightest shining moment, not in his walking on water, but in his rescue as he sunk. His glory was not in his feet that failed him, but in the arms that held him. Oh, what a wonderful place to be! Secure and safe in the arms of the One who created the cosmos, the galaxies, the Earth in its vast wonders. And His glory is not just in the marvelous power demonstrated in Creation but also in the grace and love demonstrated in our redemption. Believe it or not, you don’t need to believe in yourself. Believe it or not, you don’t have to love yourself. Believe in Him. Love Him, love others.
Abide in Him.
Desperately, entirely, unreservedly. Do not be afraid to go all in. Do not fear that you are making a sour investment. Give your heart totally. It’s good that you don’t know this at this point of your life... But God’s gonna rock your world. He’s gonna have you learn things you never even knew that you didn’t know! He’s gonna have you play for Moriah Peters as she opens for Kutless, Toby Mac, Jars of Clay and others. He’s gonna have you set up your piano at the Verizon Amphitheater, at the LA Galaxy game, in front of thousands. He’s gonna have you go to the jungles of Peru, the Andes Mountains and even the land of your earthly father. And you won’t regret a moment of it. You’re gonna struggle, Carlos, you are. You will experience episodes of depression so deep that you will wonder if life is truly worth living. You will feel like you lost your mind. You will feel His love and grace are so far from you and you will cry out to Him with such ardor. I don’t even know how this makes sense... But it’s gonna be worth it, Carlos. At times you will cower against the storms of your own mind. At times you will question, at times you will wonder and grumble... But through it all, you will whisper... “Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” You may not always have an answer to the lies of the enemy, but still you will ask, “Where else can I go? He alone has words of eternal life.”
Journey on Carlos. Be bold. Fear not.
Best Regards,
Yourself.
P.S. You should know that Guinea Pig tastes pretty good.
